season’s greetings from vatican

Tue Dec-23rd-2008 // Filed under: Things Are Happening

The Pope has once again opened his piehole. This time good old Benedict McGeriatric decided to point out that “saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behavior is just as important as saving the rain forest from destruction,” as the BBC News article puts it.

Wow, thanks, Pope! That’s a great piece of advice, right there. I know I certainly prefer to get all of my moral guidance from willfully and proudly ignorant and superstitious people who feel that rape victims shouldn’t be allowed to have abortions and who have no qualms about flat out lying about the protection condoms can offer against HIV — just to bring up those old classics.

So by all means, do keep spreading your message of peace and love! Then your followers can blindly agree with anything you say — because, hey, you’re the Pope! — no matter how fucking stupid it sounds. Or, better yet, they can silently die a little bit more inside, knowing that they’re contributing to an international culture of stupidity and hatred whenever they let you and your horde of priests spout this kind of blatantly evil shit that they know to be wrong without objecting to it and still going with the flow, because, hey, it’s the way things are done. I mean, the system works! Why make waves? The nail that sticks out gets hammered down, after all. I love you guys best of all.

Oh, Pope! Are you just another hypocrite or do you truly believe in all this fucking idiotic crap? I have no way of knowing, and I can’t even decide which possibility would be more maddening — but rest assured that whenever I think of you, I hope you trip on your papal robes and crack your head wide open against your toilet bowl. Sure, it’s kind of unpleasant of me, but let’s put this in perspective: contrasted with what you do every day, I’m still coming off as the nicer guy. You’re not just sitting there and outlining abstract policy, you’re saying things that have an active impact on others’ lives. And you just don’t care, because centuries of tradition — dating from those ages long gone, when people were known for being intelligent and educated — say it’s okay. And besides, your imaginary friend approves.

So thanks a lot for setting the proper mood for the holidays, pal!


1 Comment

  1. Yes. It is so clear that heterosexuals, being meager ~90% of the human population, need all the protection they can possibly get. Good heavens, otherwise the earth will be depleted of breeding rabbits… I mean, people.

    A friend of mine wishes that Darth Pope will live as long as possible and stick to his power like sugar to hot pan, as he thinks that he will be the best possible pope to undermine the importance and power of Roman Catholic church, since the previous pope was way too sympathetic. I’m not so sure about it: hatred is an easy flag to wave and it gathers plenty of people to follow it. The church definitely has money to fund such hatred, too.

    And shit like this — along with everything else Darth Pope has come up so far — is definitely the reason why I dislike organized religion.

    Comment by Skiriki — December 23, 2008 @ 1230060883

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