open letter

Fri Jun-15th-2007 // Filed under: Things Are Happening

Dear United States of America,

Within your borders are living some very good, intelligent friends of mine, and I know from personal experience that they are not narrow-minded idiots, religious fanatics, bugfuck insane or otherwise conforming to the unpleasant stereotypes you are undoubtedly familiar with. In fact, I fully believe that a vast, vast number of people living in your various states are intelligent and thoughtful people who feel the very same anxieties, concerns and responsibilities as the intelligent and thoughtful people in the rest of the world, regardless of the numerous follies of the current leadership and the climate of overpowering ignorance and idiocy that is being created and advanced by it.

I believe this. I honestly believe this, and many other favorable things besides, and I know that to pick a random example of stupidity and hold it up as an example of the entire nation is really a failure on our part. I know this. I know.

But.

When one of your sad little shitkicker towns goes ahead and decrees that wearing baggy pants that hang so low that one’s underwear can be seen is a crime punishable by a fine of five hundred smackers, even knowing that the ordinance is essentially just the result of some yokels killing time by seeing if it’s true that shrooms still have a kick to them when they’ve gone through the kidneys once, and not a reflection of your citizens in general, it’s nonetheless so very, very hard for us to take your shit seriously.

Just saying.

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