guess they had it coming

Wed Apr-18th-2007 // Filed under: I Rant!

It’s inevitable that in the aftermath of the Virginia Tech shootings, the worst of the conservative scum would float to the surface, but it’s still pretty ugly. You see, it turns out that the problem with Virginia Tech wasn’t really that a guy shot and killed over thirty people. That was just something that illustrates the real problem, which is that the people there were pussies.

Yeah. At least according to John Derbyshire, who feels that since Cho Seung-hui only had two guns and one of them was a little girly .22, people should’ve rushed him. He’s not afraid to say so, either.

Where was the spirit of self-defense here? Setting aside the ludicrous campus ban on licensed conceals, why didn’t anyone rush the guy? It’s not like this was Rambo, hosing the place down with automatic weapons. He had two handguns for goodness’ sake—one of them reportedly a .22.

At the very least, count the shots and jump him reloading or changing hands. Better yet, just jump him. Handguns aren’t very accurate, even at close range. I shoot mine all the time at the range, and I still can’t hit squat. I doubt this guy was any better than I am. And even if hit, a .22 needs to find something important to do real damage—your chances aren’t bad.

Oh, okay. It’s pretty much their own fault, then, isn’t it? All they had to do was charge the guy shooting at them, dodge the bullets Neo-style or, better yet, just stop fucking whining and suck ’em down, because one of the guns was a faggy little peashooter anyway, and then roundhouse kick him in the face. And before that they could say something classy and tough, like “Yo, fucknuts!” and after the guy’s down they could be all like “and stay down, shitcock” and then the cheerleaders would come in and they’d be all like “oh you BIG HERO man” and they’d be just like “aww, it wasn’t nothing” even though everybody would know it was something! And then there’d be hot sweaty sex and afterwards this awesome display of heroism would clearly eclipse the tragedy!

That’s a fucking stupid thing to say, of course, but at least he’s keeping it fairly short. That’s okay, though, because where he leaves off, our next little power fantasy hero, Nathanel Blake picks it right up and takes it up a notch in a thoughtfully titled piece called “Where Were the Men?”.

Something is clearly wrong with the men in our culture. Among the first rules of manliness are fighting bad guys and protecting others: in a word, courage. And not a one of the healthy young fellows in the classrooms seems to have done that.

When Kip Kinkle opened fire in Thurston High School a few years back, he was taken down by students, led by one who was already wounded. Why didn’t that happen here?

Yeah. At its core, this is really an issue of manliness, isn’t it? But just in case Derbyshire and Blake are being a little unclear here, let me clarify this whole thing, sum it all up in a sentence that really brings us to the very heart of the whole thing:

John Wayne wouldn’t have been such a pussy, because he was a MAN.


  1. Have you read this BoingBoing entry? The comments are…interesting.

    Comment by Juha Autero — April 18, 2007 @ 1176932674

  2. I wonder what the police would have done when they arrive on the scene and every teen on sight was openly armed? Just wondering, based on some of the gun-lobby discussions here.

    Comment by Dragon — April 19, 2007 @ 1176958704

  3. Oh, I’m sure they would’ve congratulated everyone on their initiative and readiness to defend themselves.

    And even if they wouldn’t — because cops are evil people who want people to die helplessly in the hands of heavily armed criminals instead of supporting those who want to exercise their 2nd amendment rights — I’m sure nothing bad could possibly happen as the result of a horde of cops responding to a campus shooting and running into a bunch of openly armed and scared students… not to mention a bunch of openly armed and scared students running into other openly armed and scared students who’re aware of an ongoing shooting on campus, especially once those few and impossibly valuable MANLY men among the wimps finally get their asses on gear and start on their respective self-defense sprees.

    More guns equals more safety. It’s just common sense!

    Not that I’m somehow opposed to the idea of people defending themselves, mind you. Hell, I even think that in this instance it might’ve well been preferable for people to try and get their hands on Cho; if it’s just about inevitable that you’re going to get shot, you might as well take it in the chest rather than in the back. Likewise, I don’t really have a problem with anyone killing him — sure, he was a disturbed kid who really needed help more than anything else, but once he opens fire, my priorities shift from helping him to stopping him.

    So yeah, sure, a little more aggression might not have been misplaced there — but I’m saying this with the benefit of hindsight, written in the comfort of my own home. I’m not going to pretend that attacking an armed man bare-handed is an easy thing, and I think blaming the victims for not doing so is fucking low.

    So is invoking the imagery of Flight 93. The situations are not in any way analoguous; those aboard Flight 93 were people trapped in a plane who believed (quite correctly) that they were going to crash into a building, having already heard about the WTC crashes. They had little in the way of options, whereas the students at Virginia Tech had escape routes at their disposal. Furthermore, it’s worth noting that while it’s easy to call the passengers aboard Flight 93 heroes, and perhaps justifiably so, they didn’t actually accomplish anything. None of them survived, and they couldn’t even breach the cockpit — sure, the plane missed its target, but since the actual hijackers were safely in the cockpit, it’s a kind of questionable that the passengers could be credited with that. (Which doesn’t take anything away from their bravery, obviously — they are unrelated issues.)

    Comment by Mikki — April 19, 2007 @ 1176962284

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