a moral and spiritual guide

Wed Aug-24th-2005 // Filed under: Things Are Happening

Turkmenistan’s president Saparmurat Niyazov has in his infinte wisdom decided to ban all recorded music.

This is the same guy who already banned opera and ballet, because he didn’t think they were necessary. And gold teeth. And long hair. He’s not just a wacky guy, he’s also seriously dangerous to the Turkmen — he has closed all hospitals outside of Ashgabat, asking the admittedly excellent question, “Why should we waste good medical specialists on the villages when they should be working in the capital?” Gee, Sap, you tell me. I guess your next logical step might be to wonder why they should eat so much out there when all the eating should be done in the capital? Go for it, pal, be a colossal shithead. You know you want to; you’re already building a huge cult of personality, complete with a gold-plated statue that turns to track the sun, so why limit yourself?

Of course, Niyazov insists that he doesn’t really like all those posters and statues of himself, but he claims it’s what the people want. Personally, I freely admit to not being an expert on Turkmen, but I kinda doubt they prefer statues of a douchebag to not dying of relatively harmless medical problems simply because said douchebag closed all hospitals outside the capital, so I’d have to say that he’s full of shit.

I’m in a ridiculous hurry here, so I don’t really have time to elaborate here, much as I’d love to… so I’ll just limit myself to reiterating that this man is a douchebag. That simple fact cannot be overstated.


  1. Is this the same guy who banned streetnames?

    Comment by Santeri — August 24, 2005 @ 1124927420

  2. Good question! Not that I know of, but honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had.

    He’s quite a guy. He has closed all libraries in rural Turkmenistan because he thought that they don’t read over there anyway — not that it makes that much difference, since you can’t find much of anything in the libraries that isn’t written by or about Niyazov. He’s banned television presenters from wearing make-up, apparently because he can’t tell male and female newsreaders apart. (That must make a whole lot of sense if you’re bugfuck insane like he is.) He’s declared that he wants an ice castle built in the middle of the desert. He renamed the days and months after national heroes and symbols, and apparently also named several cities, schools and even a meteorite after himself. He replaced 15 000 medical professionals with conscripts. When he quit smoking, he ordered public smoking to be illegal. He calls himself the father of all Turkmen.

    On the other hand, he also decreed that gas, electricity and water is to be provided to all citizens free of charge. Guess that makes every other thing he comes up with all right, as far as he’s concerned…

    Comment by Mikki — August 25, 2005 @ 1124934031

  3. He also shot Ruhnama into near-earth orbit. Ruhnama is a spiritual and moral code written by him. (I read this from Tomorrow Elephant.)

    Comment by Juha — August 27, 2005 @ 1125106994

  4. Motherfucker likes to keep busy.

    Comment by Mikki — August 27, 2005 @ 1125108776

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.


Copyright © Mikko Rautalahti, All Rights Reserved
WordPress makes with the publishing.